My family used to have what we called, "Fun Fridays." Every Friday the kids get to choose what they eat, what we watch, and they don't have a bedtime. The only rule is, regardless of how late you stay up, you still have to get up the next morning. As a family, we made the decision to move our day of fun to Saturday. We like to call it, "Super Saturdays."
This Saturday, last night, we ordered our free Papa Johns pizza, and 2 liter Pepsi Max. If you didn't hear about Papa John's newest advertising genius I would google,"Papa Johns coin toss." We headed to Redbox and rented a few DVDs. The kids chose Scorpion King 3 (nothing like 1 or 2), and I rented Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn. With the kids in bed, they didn't make it past 10 pm, I hunkered down under my blankets (it's freaking cold in Texas), plugged in the movie, and thought, "Hey, I read the series. I Watched the movies. I am way too invested to not finish this train wreck." The beginning was standard romance novel; cliche blood/body lust stuff. It got interesting after they went home after discovering Bella was the big "P." That is when I screamed for my kid to come and watch. He's a teenager I should say before you all go crazy about it being inappropriate. I mean how could I not? CGI wolves were communicating telepathically.
So, you're probably wondering, "Why is this interesting?" Well I'm about to tell you. We get to the birthing scene. Not much is shown. It's from the hazy perspective of Bella. Just squint, that's about all you see. Bella is emaciated; which is actually a really awesome sight, very well done effects. They are at the point where they need to remove the baby. Rosalie makes a cut. The scalpel doesn't do the job... Here is where it gets interesting.
My kid never read the series. Surprise, surprise. He never really wanted to. He didn't know what to expect. So when Edward has to use his teeth during the c-section, he took it in a way different direction. Edward goes down to bite. It went a little like this:
Ilinnuc: He's biting her vagina!? (uncontrollable laughter)
Me: OMG! No. He's not biting her vag.
Ilinnuc: He is. He's biting her vagina! hahahaha!
Me: No he isn't. (laughing so hard I might pee)
Ilinnuc: What do you have me watching!? Num num num! Hahahaha
I had to pause, rewind, and replay it after explaining it to him and once the uncontrollable fit of giggles stopped.
It was hilarious. And now I've realized this is the second post where my story includes vaginas. Well that's my life. Lol