MySpace Posing in Walmart

What do you do when you're standing in line at Walmart wih 15 people in front of you? What do you do when you have to wait in line while the Walmart cashier talks to an old lady repeating every sentence 10 times because the first nine were unheard? What do you do when there is a woman in front of you with 5 kids under 10, 2 of which are strangling each other while the others are crying because... well God only knows?

Why, if you are a teenage girl... you MySpace pose! Ah, to be a 16 year old again. While standing in line I couldn't help noticing the teen girl raise her arm in the air while fixing her hair. I wondered if she was just trying to see if her hair was messed up, until I heard the iPhone snap. The typical camera snap. She angled her head to the other side and snapped again. Chipmunk cheeks...snap. Hair over one eye...snap. Puckered lips...snap. Throwing up the peace sign...snap. I thought it was cute, until... adjusting the boobs... Hand way up high...snap. Wow. Perfect cleavage shot. Geesh. The girl was a baby. Her mom was standing two feet from her watching like nothing was wrong with her kid adjusting her boobs to take a picture of her cleavage. The perfect end to the photo shoot was when she hopped around the cart to stand next to her mom and...hand raised in the air...each with puckered lips...both leaning forward a little in their V-neck t-shirts...snap.

"Ma'am. You're next." the cashier called out. I place my frozen strawberry juice and frozen limeade mix on the counter... Ah. Time for tequila!

Horror Aint What it Used to Be

I am admittedly a horror FAN. I love a good scary movie. Blood and gore does it for me. If given the option between a gruesome death scene or a movie where the guy gets the girl... I'll choose death and dismemberment every time. I appreciate scary movies for what they are; an adrenaline rush of pure entertainment. Halloween, Friday the 13th, Scream, Killer Klowns from Outerspace, are examples of the kind of movies that hold a place near and dear to my heart.

I remember my very first scary movie. I was in elementary school and my mom brought home this really amazing movie called, The Monster Squad. I know what you're thinking. It's not scary. To a little kid, it was! It had a scary German guy, an overweight kid with a shot gun, a werewolf with a conscience, a Frankenstein's monster with the heart of a child, and a bunch of prepubescent kids determined to fight evil. I still use one liners like, "Wolf-man's got gnards," "Eat up, then we'll call it a day," "That's 'discrimination' jerkoid! Prescription's drugs which you're on if you think you're getting up here." I could go on forever. I remember seeing wolfman transform and thinking, "Oh my GOD! That is awesome!"

Fast forward a few years. A scary book came out, was made into a movie, and my mother took me to see it. Interview with a Vampire solidified my love for the beauty that was... vampire. I mean, Tom Cruise doesn't do it for me, and I find Brad Pitt a little on the annoying side (he was awesome in the movie Se7en). I remember, heading over to the card catalog (Yeah, remember those?).  Realizing I was too young to check out the book but having my local librarian wink at me and hand it over anyway. I read it in less than a day and was HOOKED!

I fell in LOVE with the writing of Steven King and Anne Rice (Before she became a fanatic and stopped writing horror) Dean Koontz, Robert Bloch, Edgar Allan Poe etc. I wish our culture wasn't turning towards the popishness that it is. It's about what comes on the CW or can make teen girls screech like banshees.  I have found that as time goes on... horror is becoming a lost art.

Why can't we make horror like we used to? Paranormal romance has taken over.  Kids are beginning to confuse the awesome genre that I LOVE with the drivel found in a Twilight or House of Night novel.  I vomited over the writing of Stephanie Meyer--strike that-- I enjoyed her first couple of books and wanted to slit my wrist over the final one (let's hope The Host gets better sequels). Do I think the books are cute? Sure. Have I read everyone of them. Yes. How can I bash something I've never read?

I wish we would get back to what made horror great. A guy, a girl, a monster, some blood, and maybe a little bit of dying. Who am I kidding? A LOT of dying! The horror genre is about putting fear into you.  I wish everyone could write like Stephen King (Except for It. The freaking spider made me throw my book across the room... I mean I read all of that for some bright lights and a massive arachnid? I get it was a throw back to the monster genre of the 1950s but it would have been cooler to leave it as the freaky kid-eating clown).

I think we need to go back to what made horror great. Making you imagine some terribleness that you would never normally know. Showing you what could be, but secretly pray will never happen. THAT is what horror is about.

By the way. Here are a few books/stories by Mr. King that I think EVERYONE should read:
Here there Be Tygers (Found in Skeleton Crew)
The Raft (favorite short story and also found in Skeleton Crew)
HECK! The ENTIRE Skeleton Crew book
The Dome (writing from the woodpeckers p.o.v was BRILLIANT)
The Mist (yes, I enjoyed it)
The Stand

There are bunch more... but my blog is becoming a novel.

I Need a Landscaper

Ok. So as a single working mom I have found myself dropping my feminist hat at the garage door. Why you may ask? Well... that is easy. I hide the lawnmower and weed eater in there. I am all about female empowerment and being self-sufficient. I regularly chastise friends for claiming they need a man and chastise men for thinking we're helpless. However, the moment I take a look at that Honda lawnmower, I hang my head in defeat.

Today was like most lawn maintenance days. I let the yard get a tad bit too long--and unlike in other states, Texas is one that requires regular mows throughout the winter. I was in a rush, bad weather was rolling in and if I didn't get it done now, I'd have to wait a few more days making my unkept lawn look like a jungle in Vietnam.

After mowing the front and side yards I was ready to toss in the towel, and after finishing the back and terrace yards I was determined that by summer I was at least getting... a lawn mower I could ride. ;)

It's a Giveaway!

Yesterday, my kiddo ilinnuc announced on his YouTube channel page that he was having a contest/giveaway. Well... I think it's a pretty good one. The winner will receive 1 of 3 beys. They will get to choose between Bakushin Susanow, ultimate gravity destroyer attack version, and twisted tempo. The contest ends March 3rd. So head over to his channel and look for the video titled, "Comtest and Vlog."

Expanding in to Creativity

So my child, ilinnuc, came to me and told me of a new plan. He is expanding into the creativity of stop motion production. While he has always loved Legos, he has never shown people what he was capable of doing. From a very early age he started watching stop motion videos. He got it in his brain that this was something he could do. Last year he made a small auto crash/accident stop motion. It was fun, not too serious, and people seemed to like it. Well, today he uploaded another one. This time he used Batman. It was really cool. I knew my kid was funny, but this video had a certain level of humor that most people don't have. I am excited to see where it goes.

To view the video follow this link!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WRFezGrUeY&feature=channel_video_title

On a Personal Note

So, I am going to write about something a little more personal than I usually do. I've talked mainly about iLiNnUc's YouTube channel, some tips to help save money, and some weird stories of things that have happened in my life. Today though, I am going to introduce you to a little man... Baby-Nuc.

Almost 2 years ago Baby was placed on the Autism Spectrum. Basically, they determined that he wasn't progressing like he should. After we BATTLED with the doctors to take us seriously, they finally decided to agree that something was wrong. We kept looking back at everything that had happened over the last year and a half and realized only one thing really stood out... vaccinations. 

When Baby was 18 months old he went in for vaccinations. His doctor forced us to go to the county health department before he would see him. He said he had to be current, and we were a few behind. Nothing major, but behind none the less. We got them. They gave us a piece of paper and told us that he would need a few more when he was a little older. They circled the ones he needed. 

Later in the week we go in for our first appointment with the pediatrician. He claimed that the health department filled out the paperwork wrong and that he still needed a few vaccinations. We asked which ones. And they proceeded to tell us. He received another round of vaccines. We were told about a probable fever and that we should give him Tylenol if that happened. That night Baby's fever spiked to over 105 degrees. We took him into the ER and after a night of fluids and observations, they sent us home. We followed up with our pediatrician. We told them of his fever, and they said it was probably a virus. We reminded him that he had vaccinations and were promptly told there is no correlation between the two events. However, they said Baby still had another round of vaccines he needed and that he would need a flu shot. I told them that I was not interested in him getting the flu vaccine and that I wasn't comfortable about giving him any more shots because of his previous reaction. We were told that the ones he was getting were nothing serious... he would be fine. While getting him dressed, we were handed a paper. The same one from before warning us about spikes in temperatures and what we should do. However, they also gave us a paper on the flu vaccine. I was furious. How dare they vaccinate Baby without authorization. We asked them if they gave him the flu vaccine and they said, "Yes." We told them that we didn't want the flu vaccine and they denied that we ever told them. We figured it was a mistake. It's the flu vaccine. I'm sure the doctor wouldn't do anything that would hurt him. Right?  That night, he had another spike in temperature, and we had another trip to the ER. We remembered that the flu vaccination paperwork was never signed and we never authorized it.

Later that year we talked with the pediatrician because we were concerned Baby wasn't talking. We kept saying the same thing. We would take him in every few months with the same concern and hear the same response. "Kids develop differently" "Maybe he doesn't have anything to say?" "There is really nothing to do." I finally demanded he be given a referral to a developmental psychologist at an autism institute after talking with other family and friends. The pediatrician informed us it wasn't necessary because HE treats autism. I was shocked. After a heated discussion and being cornered in a room and a refusal to allow me to leave, I two-stepped around him and stormed out of the office. I would later find out that he also treats 6 year old children with ADHD by prescribing them adult doses of adderall, has 4 pending lawsuits and pays for ads in the local magazine claiming to be "Voted the Number 1 Pediatrician" in our area. Which is a LIE. We decided to leave this pediatrician.

Forward 4 months later. 

We found a new pediatrician. We told her we were concerned that Baby had been talking and then all the sudden, stopped. She asked if he had any trauma lately. She asked how many words he said. We said no, and nothing. He doesn't talk. She told us that at 2 yrs he should have a minimum of 5 words in his vocabulary. We said he didn't. She asked if he says momma, we said he doesn't. She finally said, "Something is wrong here." I decided to take a leap and ask her about the vaccinations. She informed us she would look at his registry and get back to us. Later that week she provided paperwork that was truly shocking.

Baby had been vaccinated with the SAME vaccinations 3 different times within 8 weeks. She said there was concern for vaccination injury. We were given information about services in our area to now treat him, because Baby would be considered on the Autism Spectrum.  She notified me that no new vaccinations should be given, because that could have potentially caused the problem.

Current Status.

Baby says roughly 3 words really well, go, cookie, and no. Recently he began saying mom, and the names of the kids when prompted. He tries to repeat phrases but only in a sing-songy voice. He has had therapy 4 days a week with a speech and behavioral therapist for over 2 years now. He recently said, "Hee-yoo-go" and we were thrilled. He now says Night Night when prompted but rarely initiates talking. He plays with the other kids, but have noticed that he really isn't playing with them, but along side them. For parents with children who have autism, you'll understand what I mean. He doesn't really eat anything other than sandwiches, rice, mashed potatoes, apples, and of course his favorite of all time, cookie,popcorn, and pizza. He will down a chicken nugget and fries but doesn't care about them much. It's hard. You worry if he is getting what his body needs. But there is really nothing we can do. 

His speech therapist recently started an "I want" book with him. It's supposed to cut down his frustration in not being able to communicate. It really has helped. We have a bunch of pictures of items cut out and a strip that says I want. He chooses I want and then goes and picks the picture of the item he wants. But, it has also helped him become vocal. We aren't sure what he is saying but he is beginning to baby babble. You know that thing kids do before they start talking? 

We are nervous about Baby's Future, but are really hopeful about the direction he is going in. I hope to write about his progress more. I know there are a lot of people out there dealing with what we are. 

Thanks for reading.

It all Starts Again Tomorrow!

What is my kid doing right now? Well... He is blogging. He heard about what I was doing and decided to do the same thing. I was surprised how similar we sound when we write. I shouldn't be however, because I am the one who taught him. HA HA.

Today iLiNnUc, my kiddo, told me he was writing about a comment he received from a mean spirited kid. It went something like this:

"You are (explicative) spoiled... BLAH BLAH BLAH!"

He got mad and told him the story of mowing lawns. We had a talk and here is what I told him:

"SCREW THEM!"

Yes I know. Rough language? Sure. Not typical in my wordage? You bet. Feeling the same? Absolutely.

I think it is time we stop listening to the negative, and enjoy all the amazing, powerful, and wonderful  positive.  Just yesterday iLiNnUc received a wonderful comment from his subscriber saying, "I think your family is really, really, nice." Simple? Yes. Powerful? Absolutely. I was touched by that comment. A child took time out of his little world to comment about how nice he thinks we are. I try to be nice. It's hard sometimes when life hits you right between the eyes, but I try.

Thanks for listening to this mini-blog. I appreciate it.

Writing Progress: NOTHING! I hate busy weeks.
Subscribers: 8450 and counting
Total Views: We'll break 8,000,000 by the end of the tomorrow. HOPEFULLY!
http://youtube.com/user/ilinnuc

Welcome to the Nuc Clan!

Yesterday we introduced ilinnuc's subscribers and the YouTube world to the Nuc Clan. The fact is our YouTube subs are like family. They have watched ilinnuc grow over the last year to what he has become today. I am proud of our little, or not so little, extended family. I am thankful of where we are going and the journey we have ahead of us.

 On the Nuc Clan video, you got to see little snippets of each of the Nuc members, except for me... I had the camera. You got to see Bitty playing her newly bought chess set, lil'innuc playing his Lego Batman Wii game, Baby-nuc playing with his cars, and ilinnuc with Tio-nuc in a no-hold-bar harmonica dance off. We are hopeful everyone liked the new videos. Fingers crossed. So far the feedback has been great. Just wanted to share with you all where I'm at in my head... I'm out!

XoXo

Momma-nuc

It's Basketball Season!

This morning I got to get up at the butt crack of dawn in order to make it clear across town to see my wonderfully new at basketball niece compete in her very first game. I walked into the gym, having missed the beginning lights spectacular thanks to my not so accurate GPS, found a seat next to my sister and her other half of the family. I look out at the court and Girlie-nuc is standing there wide eyed and humming with anticipation and well... fear. Having only had two practices before the big game Girlie was very nervous.

It was 4 on 4 basketball with a set of rules I have never heard of. You couldn't try to steal the ball. If you knocked it out of the court, you got it back, and if you didn't dribble, you got a friendly reminder. It was so... noncompetitive. At first I was taken aback by this. I understand they are really young and need to learn how to play well with others, but this is basketball. Dribbling is a must and knowing that if you hit the ball out of bounds, the other team gets the ball. I'm okay with not keeping score, and letting kids "forget" to dribble, but there was this kid, adorable I will admit, who decided to walk with the ball from one side of the court, to the other side only dribbling once. Girlie-nuc tried her hardest... and made 2 baskets!

Here is the funny part. While playing Girlie wore her grey uniform. The opposing team had on a maroon one. I'm not sure what they were thinking when they chose number colors because the maroon uniform was beautifully adorned with blue numbering. Imagine my surprise... and early morning humor... when the official began screaming, "It's blues ball!" I know. I thoroughly admit that I laughed like a 12 year old prepubescent teenage boy, but it was funny! It took the sting out of waking up on a Saturday morning with the sun still down.

Girlie's father was hilarious. Usually, he cracks jokes that you may not necessarily get but he thinks is hilarious, and we politely laugh at him. This time, in an auditorium filled with less than 50 or so people he started... the wave. All the sudden you hear him yell out... "COME ON EVERYONE! WOOOOOH!" Raising his arms up. Much to my sister's horror. However, the family quickly chimed in carrying the wave around well... a quarter of the auditorium. It was fun. She had fun. She received her "Grace-like" star to iron onto her jersey... which she was very happy with. Girlie made 2 baskets. Learned it's about having fun... regardless of how many people yell, "Hands UP! Get the BALL!" (her mother lol)... It was a fun day!

Changes are a Comin'

The past week has been truly unbelievable. I am so proud of my kid. The biggest change that has taken place this year is that my YouTube kid and I came to an agreement about the mask he's been wearing. I know. I know. I've gotten a lot of questionable comments from certain family members but if I'm honest... Which I always am... It was the best decision I've made yet!

We really thought about it. It wasn't something we went into lightly. The fact is, this decision has been the topic of discussion at our dinner table for several months. What made me change my mind?

I can tell you it wasn't any whining from my kid. He knew the rules and while it was a very big nuisance, he dealt with it.

It wasn't the countless kids who didn't understand the need for the mask. The number of comments about the masks creepiness was endless.

What changed my mind was the outpouring of support my kid had after a not so nice subscriber came down hard on him about a collection update.

In his comment he told my kid that he wasn't humble and was bragging and that he went over to the dark side. It really affected ilinnuc. It saddened him because that isn't the type of teenage boy he is. He is humble and appreciative and thankful and constantly amazed by the support he has received on YouTube. What really pushed me over the edge to allow him to unmask, was how defensive some of these kids got over my child. It was amazing.

There were several people who came to his defense. Not in a nasty, "Shutup! You don't know why your talking about!" kind of way... But an "ilinnuc is kind and caring and really is a good person," kind of way. They saw him the way I see him. And that is what led me to the decision to let him show his face to the people who loyally and proudly support him.

To the kids who defended him: You are all absolutely amazing and wonderful people. We wholeheartedly appreciate everyone of you!

We are looking forward to letting you all get to know ilinnuc and the nuc clan more as the year progresses. Like I said before thanks for coming along for the ride. I hope it's as much fun for you as its been for all of us! ;)

Following Your Dreams

Many years ago I had the dream I wanted to become a doctor. My life was consumed with science and math, becoming the best, competitions and honors, awards and disappointment. I would stay up until 3 or 4 in the morning completing my AP math homework, or finishing up AP Chemistry. I would get roughly 4 hours of sleep a night all for the one thing I thought I wanted to be, a doctor. I got into several universities my junior/senior year of high school (I graduated a year early-I was 16). I thought I was on the road to becoming the person I spent my whole life watching on TV. Things changed drastically my junior year of college when I found out, medicine is not everything its cracked up to be.

Imagine my panic when I realized this was not something I wanted to do with my life. Imagine how my poor mother felt when I told her, her dreams of having a doctor for a daughter would not become a reality. Imagine the tears and the screaming, the exasperated look on her face and the earth shattering words that can just destroy a dutiful daughter that aimed at nothing other than pleasing her mother, "I'm so disappointed in you." Now take all of that wasted imagery, and throw it out the window.

This is how it went:

Me: Mom, I have to tell you something. Before I tell you, you have to promise to let me finish. You need to know that I really thought it over and I know this is the right thing to do.
My Mom: Oh GOD! You aren't getting married. You are too young.
Me: Wait, What?
My Mom: GEEZE! I knew I shouldn't have let you go to that school. You were too young.
Me: What are you talking about? No! I'm not getting married.
My Mom: Well, what is it?
Me: I don't want to be a doctor.
My Mom: Oh, what are you going to do then?

That earth shattering conversation I spent weeks planning in my head, preparing for the worst case scenario... never happened. She just wanted to know what my plans were. A funny thing happened when I told her what the next thing I had planned was going to be... I was going to major in Political Science. I distinctly remember my mother saying, "Wow... so you want to be broke." I remember smiling and telling her, "NO! I want to change the world! Instead of working on patients without healthcare I'll be able to change the policies that enable them from getting the treatment they need." I was very, very optimistic. It was what I was meant to do. My intro to government teacher told me I would make a fine politician. I was bright and had a work ethic that matched no one he had ever met before. He thought I was wonderfully talented. My ability to write was unlike anyone he had ever seen, and I could argue my way around just about anything. I graduated with a Bachelors of Arts in Political Science and History from Texas Tech University after about 5 years (thanks to the complete change... AND double major).

In order to be in politics I had it in my head that I should become a lawyer. I did the research, looked at the math and came up with the plan. 40-50% of representatives and senators are lawyers. All I had to do was go to law school. To be competitive I needed to get my Masters in political science. It would really prepare me for the work I had in law school and make me more desirable to potential law schools. I did the work, put in the time, it wasn't all to difficult, until I hit a road block. I decided to take a course offered by a former judge and a current faculty member of the local law school. I had it in my brain that this was the most amazing opportunity ever. I could prove to them that I was smart, and dedicated and everything my intro to government teacher thought I was. I could show them that I had what it took and they could guide me in my quest to law school. Oh boy, was I ever more wrong?

I found myself getting irritated throughout the class. Annoyed that questions would turn into more questions and there were never any solid answers. The sliminess of their responses grated me. You would formulate a response and everything would make sense and there really was never a way to argue around it... however they were able to do just that. I hated law. I hated how they were able to twist my words. I purposely began to annoy them. I would state that they needed to expand the death penalty to include other heinous crimes. Did I mean it? I don't know. Part of me at the time did--well expanded enough to include professors who purposefully destroyed their students. I would find every opportunity to catch them in their responses. I took meticulous notes. I would find them contradicting themselves and made a point to press them on it. However with the tag team duo they were, it became impossible. I decided that law wasn't really the path for me. Several of my friends who were attorneys said this was standard practice. I couldn't imagine myself ever being like this. It was annoying. It was boring. It wasn't... me.

The most enjoyable class I ever had was in my sophmore year of college. I took an upper level fiction class. I heard the professor who was teaching it was amazing. He was. He was everything I had hoped for and more. The class was based on works of Stephen King. I know right? Very cool. I loved reading everything he ever wrote. I remember "sneaking" King's books from my mother when I was 10 or 11, only to find out in later years that she had deliberately left them in my path. My favorite short story by King, "Here there be Tygers," had me wishing my evil 4th grade language arts teacher would take an unscheduled walk to the boys washroom.

I wrote a story about aliens--I think. We were supposed to choose aspects of King's writing style and apply them to our own creative works. I was so nervous. I had never let anyone read my stuff before. College history or political science papers didn't count. At this time, it was the intro stuff and they didn't have to be creative. We didn't have to come up with our own theories or anything original. This class forced me to hand over something that was just... me.

I remember feeling like I was going to faint. The feeling that the world was closing in on you and you were sitting there exposed in your undies was overwhelming. I remember everyone passing their projects up to the front of the class. Me being the dutiful over-achiever I was at the time, always sat in the front row. I handed him the stack, leaving mine in my plastic portfolio. It was clearly marked with my name, the date, the title of my work, and finally the professor and the room number. He could clearly see it was my project. He noticed I had neglected to hand it to him, and reached for it. I promptly slammed my hand down on the desk, blocking his access. "Isn't that for me?" He asked. "Uh, yeah. Maybe." I replied. Everyone was staring. The loud noise of my hand smacking the desk had brought their attention straight towards me. "You have to let go some time." He said. Looking at me, with this weird look of understanding. "I know." I answered back.  He repeated his prior statement, quieter looking intensely at me, "You have to let go some time." I promptly removed my hand, and he quickly grabbed it and placed it at the bottom of the pile. I was terrified. I had this idea that I was going to get it back bleeding. His corrections would destroy me. The red ink of death would signal I wasn't good enough. He wouldn't be critiquing my understanding of someone else's work. He would be critiquing... me.

I remember that like it was yesterday. I was terrified of what he would think about my work. I was terrified someone would hate what I wrote and I was embarrassed. The personal aspects of my story mixed with the fictional characters and the places, the worlds I weaved together would result in a big fat F.

I was wrong. The feeling I had when I got my paper back was unlike anything I had ever felt before in my life. I was praised for my creativity even though my structure and technical abilities needed work. I remember reading the review sheet thinking wow, he thinks I can do it? At the end of the paper he wrote, "Have you ever thought about becoming a writer?" I secretly did. I wanted to make up the stories that I so frequently ran to as a child, the ones I read that helped me escape my own reality. I never pictured myself as one of the characters bound in the pages of my favorite book, I always pictured myself as the woman behind the computer screen. I wanted to create worlds that kids, teens, adults, could escape to. I wanted to give them, what these authors gave... me.

I recently had a conversation with my mother. Similar to the one I had when I told her I wanted to be a politician. Here is how it went:

Me: Mom, I need to talk to you. It's really important. I need to finish before you say anything. I need you to really think about what I am saying before you get upset. It was a really big decision, and I think it's for the best.
My Mom: I'm really busy, what is it? I'm looking for dining room furniture on Craigslist!
Me: Mom, I'm done.
My Mom: Done with what?
Me: My education. I'm not getting my PhD or going to law school.
My Mom: Well, what are your plans now?
Me: I want to be a writer. I think I could be good at it. I love it. I've written a lot in the past couple months. I'm almost done with my first book.
My son: MiMi, I read it. It's REALLY funny.
My Mom: It's about time.

I was actually stunned. I never thought that she would take it so well. I should have known better. She has always supported everything I did, or stayed quiet when they weren't the best decisions. My son's ability to understand the importance of her acceptance was amazing. I knew he supported me, and I just hoped she would to. She looked up at me, and finally said, "So you want to be broke."